The Reason I'm Not To Fond Of Church! (Comedy)

Have you ever been in prayer at a small chrch and it appeared that the mother of the church who was praying for everybody was actually talking about everybody? Well I once felt this way, and I got a real good reason to feel this way to. The Mother of my church name was Mother Daniel and she loves to gossip in  many  different  slick ways. Now she didn't talk about folks behind their backs, she talk about them while she praying at church. This is how Mother Daniel would pray, “O Lord, we come in your name! Yes we is! We come in your name because aint other name is better! O Lord!  I want you to pray for little Marcus because we know he’s short with a big O head and I want you to pray that his body catches up with his head! You know the kids at school be talking about him calling him Water! They call him Water! They CALL HIM WATER!!!! Because he got a water head!  Please take the water out his head Lord!  We want you to grab one of them holy pins and pop his head so his head can go down! Yeah! Dear Lord, we also want you to pray for Cock Eye Fred! We want you to make Cock Fred see straight because we don’t know who he talking too and I know lord you don’t who he praying to because he’s cock eyed! Yeah!  Dear Lord, please pray for Bonny and her mustache. Pray that Bonny shave her mustache because the kids be crying when she’s trying to kiss them and they be waking up  out of their sleep crying that Bonny coming to get me to give me a kiss, so we pray that Bonny leave those kids alone until her mustache is gone!! Say mustache gone! Mustache gone!!! Bonny leave those kids alone until your mustache gone! Say gone!!! Gone!  Lord pray that Bonny leave those kids alone until your mustache is gone! Yes!  Yes Lord1 We want you to pray for Pastor Jenkins because we know he be cheating! Yes he is! He told me that he was late night cleaning the church when we know be cleaning the skirt!  Say cleaning the skirts! Pastor Jenkins don’t be cleaning the church he be cleaning the skirts! Lord please tell pastor Jenkins to leave the skirts alone and get his old self home!  Say, go home! Leave the skirts alone and take your old ass oops butt home!  Before Mother Daniel finish praying everybody she was talking about eyes was already open and mad and was looking at Mother Daniels even Cock Eye Fred but it looked like he was looking at everybody. To make matters worse the other elders in the church were laughing while Mother Daniels was praying. Well that’s my reason why I’m mot to fond of going to church today.