Lashing Out

Cynthia is a 15 year old daughter who is very sheltered, but she has dreams of playing high school basketball. Her father is a 38 year old mega church pastor and her mother is a stay at a home mom and a mother of the church. One Sunday day evening while the family was driving home from church, Cynthia decided to ask her father if she can try out for her high school basketball team.  Her mother immediately said yes as long as her grades stay at a 3 point, but her father overruled his wife decision and said that no daughter of his was going to play basketball. Cynthia then cried for an explanation from her father of why she can’t play basketball? Her father replied, “Have you ever looked at those basketball girls? They look like, and carry themselves like men. No daughter of mines is going to play basketball.”  Her mother tried to talk to her father but her father told his wife that the subject was not open for discussion. Therefore, Cynthia started acting up at school by fighting; smoking drugs, suspension from school, and her grades point average went from a 3 point  to a 2 point.

 Well one day after school, the high school women's basketball coach saw Cynthia playing a pickup game, and he was amazed by her basketball talent. He  then pulled her to the side after the game to talk to her about playing for her high school varsity team and Cynthia told the coach she would love to play basketball for her school but her father who is a preacher doesn't want his daughter playing basketball with girls who dress up and act like men. Therefore, the coach approached her father on Sunday right after service, and he convinced him that his daughter would be all right and she wouldn't turn out gay. Fast forward some months later, his daughter basketball team wins the state championship, and Cynthia is named MVP. To top it off, Cynthia grades went from a 2 point to a 3.5 grade point average. Also, Cynthia was spending a lot of time with a guy friend who played on the boy basketball team and people viewed them as a couple . The family decided to go out to eat to celebrate the state championship win and Cynthia being named MVP. While eating, Cynthia stated she had some news that she wanted to tell her parents. Her father smiled because he was waiting for his daughter to say she had a boyfriend and he couldn't wait to meet him.  Unfortunately that wasn't the case, Cynthia then told her parents that she’s gay. Her father immediately slammed his fist against the table in anger and said, “I knew it! I knew if you played basketball that you would turn out gay! I told your mother this would happen! What about that high school basketball superstar boy you been hanging with?” Cynthia replied, “He’s gay too.” Her father then screamed, “Aww shit! All you motherfuckas  are gay!” This was first time Cynthia heard her father curse.  Her mother started to cry and tried her best to calm her husband down, but her best wasn't good enough.  Her father then stood up from the table and said, “You are an embarrassment to this family and an abomination in the eyes of God.  From this day forward you're no longer my daughter or a part of this family.  By the way, you tell my straight daughter she’s welcome to stay at my house but as longs as your gay you stay the hell out of my face and away from family.”  Cynthia started crying, “I'm sorry Daddy. I’m sorry!  I’m still your baby girl! I’m still your baby girl!  I love you! I love y'all! Don't leave me please don't leave me!” Everybody in the restaurant started to look at them and the couple left their daughter crying in the restaurant and drove home.

A couple of minutes later Cynthia called her grandmother crying that her parents disowned her because she said she told them she gay. Her grandmother then picked her up from the restaurant and told her that she could live with her but she couldn't dress like a boy, no rainbow stuff hanging in her house or have any gay girls in her house either. Cynthia agreed to follow her grandmother rules, and every Sunday when she attended her father church she’ll try to speak to her parents but they intentionally ignored her. A couple of months went by that Cynthia didn't speak to her parents or step in their house, and their harsh treatment mentally started to drain her to the point that one day she decided that she had enough. So, she went over to her parents’ house after school and banged on their door, and screamed, “I want to come back home! I want to come back home! Let me in!” Yet, her knocks and screams were ignored.  Cynthia cried as she walked to her grandma house, and once she stop crying she decided to walk into her grandmother bathroom and she took 30 of her high blood pressure pills. Once her grandmother made it home from work, she saw Cynthia past out on the living room floor with her high blood pressure pills lying next to her.  Her grandmother then called 911 and Cynthia was rushed to the hospital. Once her parents arrived at the hospital the doctors told them that Cynthia was in critical condition and they wasn't for sure that she was going to make it. The family then held hands and they prayed for Cynthia to make it, and she made it.  Now the father is stuck with the decision to choose his daughter or his religion? People help her father out? Lashing out!

Heaven

I was sitting in the library on a Saturday summer morning editing my book and then out of nowhere time froze and the most angelic angle with invisible wings with a heaven sent walk in wearing a yellow sun-fire captivating dress with a summer flower Josephine Baker seeded hat. I said to myself that I have seen her somewhere before but I couldn't figure it out where. But I knew that my soul had held her before, I knew that my heart had loved her before, and I knew that my lips had kissed her before. For she was more than a woman of my dreams, she was the air that I breath that occupied the timeless space in my life. Therefore, I humbly approach her like a cat walking quietly but at a fast pace. Once I got behind her I gently tapped her on her shoulder and I asked her have we ever met before and she quietly smiled and softly replied in heaven. She said we met me in heaven and we were in love. Wow!

Love Brutality

Octavia is a 30 year old nurse and a single mother of two and who has been dating Greg a 37 year old police officer captain and father of one.  The couple has been dating for a couple of years and everything was perfect and fine. Greg use to show up to Octavia job to take her to lunch and sometime he’ll bring her lunch. Greg would send her roses  once or twice a month.  The couple was so in love that Octavia decided to move in with Greg. Well that was  up until a couple of months ago when Greg got demoted due to state budget cuts and he received a summons from his child mother to increase his child support. To make matters worse, Greg decided to  take Octavia out to a fine dining restaurant to clear his mind of all the financial stress but once they returned to the parking lot the repo man was towing his car.   While the car was being towed away Octavia started to laugh and Greg told her to stop laughing because he was humiliated but Octavia refused to and Greg walked up to Octavia and slapped her.  After he slapped her he explained to her that aint nothing funny about his car being towed, and aint nothing funny about being demoted, and aint nothing funny about an increase of his child support.  Octavia took off running to call the police on Greg and Greg yelled at her as she ran, “Where you going to go?! I’m the police! I’m the law!” Once the police arrived on the scene they asked Octavia what she did to make Officer Greg slap her.  Octavia then  cried and said,” Does it matter?” Tthe police officers said it does matter. Therefore, they got in their car and drove off.  The couple went home in sperate cars.  Octavia caught a cab and Greg decided to walk home and to stop by the liquir store to buy some liquor.  Once Greg drunkenly walked in the house and he walked up to Octavia who was their room packing her bags and he said, “Where in the hell do you think you’re going?!  Woman do you hear me talking to you?! Silly bitch! Do you hear me talking to you?!” Octavia refuse to respond and continue to pack.  Greg then said,”ok.” He walked out of their room and walked into another room to retrieve something. Octavia thought he was going to get some kind of weapon so she ran and locked herself in their bathroom. Once Greg returns he knocked on the bathroom door and yelled to Octavia to open the door and she refuse too. Then he slipped a small gray box under the door and told her to pick up the box. Octavia nervously picked up the box and open it and she saw a half karat diamond ring and started to cry and said she was so sorry and then she decided to open the door. Once she opened the door Greg grabbed her by the neck and had a gun pointed directly at her face and said, “If you ever in your life run from me woman I’ll kill you!”  At that very moment Octavia life was before her eyes and she thought about her children and she cried as and told Greg that she will never leave him and she apologize.

Fast forward a couple of weeks later Octavia attempt to take out a restraining order against Greg but one of the office custodians called Greg about and Greg march in the court office and all the workers walked away and he slapped the shit out of Octavia and told her to get the hell out of their and go home.  Blood fell from Octavia mouth onto the restraining order paper and she  shocked that all the clerks left their cubical and someone called to tell Greg that she was filling a restraining order. Greg grabbed Octavia by the neck and said, “I told you I am the law and there’s nowhere you can go where I don’t have friend and dammit woman, I know every officer, every sheriff, and every judge is this city and they all owe me a favor and they all are my friends.  You see we all wear the blue shield.  Now clean up your face and take your sorry broke ass home.” Octavia took off running out the court office while crying and other officers and bystanders looked at her with confusion. Now Octavia wants to know what can she do or who can she turn to because she is experiencing love/police brutality?

Hot Dog Buns, Baseball, And Jesus!

Now, I don't know if it’s just me but have you ever picked up a hot dog bun and was puzzles  on which side of the bun is the side you should open? I know that this isn't rocket science, but that always confused me. My brother told me to open the side with the cross because the last thing the Romans offered Jesus before he went on the cross was a hot dog.  I can see it now, a hot dog vendor asking Jesus, " Hey Jesus, you want a hot dog before you go up on the cross?" Jesus replied, " Yeah. Hey witch side of the bun is you suppose to open?" The hot dog vendor says, " Good question. "  Jesus replied, " Well, I'm going to put a cross on this side of the bun, so you know which side to open, and you'll remember me every time you pick up a hot dog bun. O yeah, your Roman hot dog sucks! I ate better hot dogs in Egypt." I’m sorry my loyal church goers but I have yet to see the cross on a hot dog bun, and if I did see one I'm quite sure, that hot dog bun will wind up on 60 minutes, right along the side with the virgin Mary potato chip.

I can see Jesus at a Roman baseball game asking for five hails Mary's full of grace hot dogs with ketch up, mustard and relish on the side from an immigrant vendor from  this crazy place called Chicago. Now,  Jesus is at a baseball game and he he ask John The Baptist to hold his hot dog while he talk to his father in Heaven because Derek Jeter of the Bethlehem Yankees is coming up to bat.   Then John The Baptist would take Jesus hot dog and baptise it. Once he gives Jesus his hot dog back Jesus would start yelling at him very calmly the following words, “ Why do you have to baptize everything you get?! I'm tired of you! Nah, I'm tired of you!  Listen, just because your name is John The Baptist doesn't mean you have to go around baptizing everything! You baptise, my sandals, my socks, and now my hot dog! I tell you one thing John, if I wasn’t your savor it would be on for real. You got one more times, one more time to Baptist my hot dog  John and it's on! ” 

Question, why is John The Baptist name is John The Baptist? Like who gave him the permission to use the as his middle name?  Have anyone ever figured out this guy middle name by the way? I guess I’ll change my name to Marcus The Webb.Well, back to the subject at hand. I need to know which side of the hot dog bun is the opening side? 

By 

Marcus The Webb

From Boy To Man

From Boy To Man

There are some love stories that are beyond remarkable.  You know the kind of stories that give you the chills, and make you reflect on your own personal love life. Well I was allotted to experience one of the greatest love stories ever told. Allow me Marcus Valentine to share with you a piece of my love. The sun was shining bright that Sunday morning in North Las Vegas, NV.  The year was   1988 to be exact.  I was a young 14 to year teenager boy who decided to step out on faith and approached a girl that attended my high school. I admired her for over a year but I was too shy to say anything to her.  Like any other teenage kid, I was afraid of being rejected. Well, all of that change on that day. On that day, the birds were singing a beautiful melodic melody of love. Even the ruby red roses that I held in my hand smelled like new love.  So, there I stood at the door step of the girl that I wanted to love one day and I wanted her to somehow or some way love me back too. My teenage dreams were to ask Lovely Mona out on a date to see the movie Boomerang. My heart started to beat fast, for I was nervous as all get out. I then started to sweat profusely, to the point that one would have thought it was raining outside because my brand new cross colors yellow shirt and red jeans were drench. But I had to block out all the fear from within, but in reality it was the fear of rejection that had consumed me.

My grandmother told me earlier that day to be a man and tell this girl my deepest feelings. The worse she could say is she doesn’t feel the same way about me or she shared the same feelings too. So, I slowly knocked on the old hard wooden door real soft. Nobody answered; therefore, that was my excuse to walk away, but I turned back around, and proceeded to knock on the door harder. An older lady then shouted from inside the house, "Who is it?!” And stop knocking on my damn door!" My first instincts were to turn around and run like hell, but I stood my ground like a boy maturing into a brave young man. The door then slowly open and my heart started beating even faster,  as if I was about to have a heart attack. Once the door finally opened, my dream girl mom answered the door wearing a pink robe, a blue shower cap on her head, and a white unlit cigarette dangling from her mouth. Her mother said to me, "Who are you?!" I stood there frozen for a second or two, and said, "Marcus." She replied, "I know who you is. You Liz boy." I replied, "Yes Ma’am.”  With a tilt of her head she lit her cigarette, then blew the smoke directly in my face and looked me up and down and sarcastically smiled.  I wanted to chock but I refuse to choke because chocking was a sign of weakness, and I wanted to be a man. I initially thought her mother must have been on crack, being that she gave me a look similar to the crack heads in my neighborhood, and my grandmother didn’t prepare me for this. My grandmother left out how to approach her parents.  Well none the less, her mother looked at the roses in my hand and said “Who those roses for, boy?" I nervously replied, “They’re for Mona.”  Her mother smiled and yelled, “Mona! Some nappy head little boy is here to see you! Come to the door and get off my phone! You aint paying no bills in here!” Then she slammed the door in my face real hard and walked away. A minute later the doors slowly open, and there she stood as beautiful as today is tomorrow, the woman of my 9th grade dreams. Lovely Mona was the prettiest caramel yellow girl with the sexiest soft slanted eyes from Vegas to London, to Japan, and like Roger & Zapp song said, “I wanted to be your man.”  I wanted to be her man and her future.  We locked eyes for a Bobby Brown second, as if we both had been waiting for this moment all of our lives. I immediately said, “The roses are for you.”  Lovely Mona eyes look l as if I held a diamond ring in my hand, and she gracefully removed the roses from my hand, as if she was  my Queen to be  and then she place the roses to her nose and inhaled the most beautiful inhale that I ever seen and said, “Thank you.”  I was stuck in a moment of awe, after she said thank you to me because her thank you was up there with the Lakers Championship!  Her thank you, was up there with the UNLV Running Rebels Championship too! Her thank you was the thank you of all thank you!  I mean Lovely Mona said thank you to me, and she’s the most beautiful girl in the world!  Now all I had to do is calm the blank down and ask her if she would go out with me on a date to the movies; therefore, I took two deep breaths to gather myself and said, “Hey, eHeyI was wondering if you would like to go out with me on date to see the movie Boomerang?” Lovely Mona smiled immediately turned into an instant heartbreak frown, as if I said the worst thing a young man could ever say to the most beautiful girl in the world.   At that very moment, I wanted to rewind the hands of time and ask her on a date in another way but I could rewind the hands of time, and there was nothing I could do about it.  My 9th grade dream looked at the flowers as if she wanted to cry and then she slowly raised her head to look into my eyes and said, “Marcus I’m pregnant with my first child.” My feeling was crushed to the point that I wanted to cry right in front of her but I held all my hurt inside like man.  Now I was crying inside. Lord knows I was crying inside but she wasn’t going to see that part of me. Lovely Mona knew that she hurt my feelings, so she softly asked me, “Are you OK?”  To be honest with you, I wasn’t OK. I was hurt beyond hurt and I wanted her to say that she was joking or lying, but unfortunately that wasn’t the case.  With my head down I told her that I’ll be OK. There was a guilty silence that occupied the silent space that existed between her and I.  I then told Lovely Mona, “My name is Marcus by the way.  Hey, I guess we can be friends, right?”  A tear fell from her eye and she agreed to be my friend. Lovely Mona wanted to give me back my roses but I refuse to take them back because I bought them for her. I bought it for that moment via good or bad. I bought them for the most beautiful girl in the world, even if she wasn’t in my world.  Then I turned around with my head held down, and sadly walked away

I was upset with myself because if I would have approached her a long time ago she would be carrying my baby but how was that possible because I wasn’t even having sex at that time.  Yes, I was a 100% virgin.  I told my grandmother of what happen and my grandma said, “Did you cry?” I told my grandmother that I didn’t cry and I held all my pain inside like a man. My grandmother said men cry too but they cry inside. Well, that was the most humiliating moment of my teenage life.  I said to myself later on that night, “I guess all dreams aren’t meant to come true.”  That day I played New Edition song Boys to men on my radio, as I cried myself to sleep.

A few years later I saw Lovely Mona pushing a stroller down the grocery isle, and in a stroller was her beautiful baby boy.  We both smiled at each other as if this was the most opportunist time for us to be together or to get to know one another.  I asked Lovely Mona what was her baby name?  And she smiled and said, “Take a guess?”  I pulled a name out of the air and said, “Johnny.” She said, “No silly. I named him after a good friend.”  I shrug my shoulders like I didn’t know what to say because I didn’t know any of her friends. Then she said, “Marcus.  I named him Marcus.”  A big bright giant smile came across my face, and I asked her, “You name the baby after me?” She replied, “No moron, I named him after Willie down the street. Yes, I named him after you. Mr. Crazy!”

 Now fast forward 15 years later and my 9th grade college graduate dream girl from high school  is walking down the wedding isle carrying my child in her stomach.  My fraternity brothers are screaming roof at the top their lungs, as my 9th grade dream girl says, “I do.”  I got to go now because my beautiful wife and my new born baby girl, along with my older son keep calling my name. Now keep in mind,   I'm a published well know writer, a father, but more importantly my dream girl husband. That life changing experience took me   from being a boy to a man.  Don’t you just love a happy ending?

By

Marcus Webb

Gone

2pac is gone,

Brenda is having another baby,

Biggie catches bullets,

Puffy cashes checks,

The claiming that he’s violent,

The boy stood for something,

I was just trying to feed my daughter,

The man lived for something,

Once friends,

Now enemies,

White Industry gets rich off of,

Negro regional rivalry,

We are dummies,

Claiming a region,
But we own no property,

We are dummies,

Spitting vengeances of self-hate seeds,

ARE planted into the fertile minds of our babies,

From the seed grows,

Children who can careless,

From the seeds grows

They  can give a damn about their community,

They rather kill each other all day,

Music,

They rather smoke weed all day,

Rap,

Drink all day,

While celebrating and praising  generational poverty,

Father/Baller makes a  phone call from jail,

Please put some money on my books,

Can you feel me,

Baby mother responds,

Who the hell is this,

Better yet,

Who have we become,

Malcolm stood for something,

King stood for something,

Your nobody until somebody kill you,

Both of their mothers

Shed so many tears,

Gone!!!

Dream

If I was to dream a dream of a beautiful place, I would close my eyes then baptize my mind and see a reflection of your face illuminating off the Nile River, and you'll be holding a rose and that rose would be nothing more than a reflection of our child, and lets call him Moses, to tell you the truth no one knows this but you was created for me, like moon was meant for the sea, like the winter breeze was created for the trees. Baby girl your oxygen to me, like body begs for my heart to beat, I want to hold you just like my eyes want to sleep, I want to kiss you like a slave that want to be free, like Stevie Wonder I don't who you are but I can see you, I can feel you, I can taste you, but more importantly I want to love you. I want to hold you, I want to kiss you, I want to be free. But until then I'll continue to dream.